1But though nature declares by so many signs what she wishes, seeks and longs for, we somehow grow deaf and do not hear the warnings she gives us. 1For the practice of friendship is varied and manifold, and many causes for suspicion and offence are given, which it is the part of a wise man sometimes to avoid, sometimes to make light of, sometimes to bear. 1One kind of offence must be faced, so that both usefulness and good faith may be kept in friendship; 1for friends must often be both admonished and rebuked, and these things must be taken in a friendly spirit when they are done with goodwill.
89But somehow it is true, what my friend says in the Andria: 'Compliance breeds friends, truth breeds hatred.' 89Truth is troublesome, if indeed hatred springs from it, which is the poison of friendship, but compliance is much more troublesome, since by indulging faults it lets a friend be carried headlong; 89but the greatest fault lies with the man who both scorns the truth and is driven by compliance into ruin. 89In this whole matter, then, reason and care must be used: first, that admonition be free of harshness, and second, that rebuke be free of insult. 89In compliance, however, since we gladly use Terence's word, let there be courtesy, and let flattery, the helper of vices, be put far away, for it is unworthy not only of a friend but even of a free man; 89for one lives in one way with a tyrant and in another with a friend.
90?But the man whose ears are so closed to truth that he cannot hear the truth from a friend: his safety is to be despaired of. 90?For that saying of Cato's is shrewd, like many of his: that bitter enemies deserve better of some people than those friends who seem sweet; 90?the former often speak the truth, the latter never. 90?And it is absurd that those who are admonished do not feel the annoyance they ought to feel, and do feel the one from which they ought to be free. 90?For they are not distressed that they have done wrong, but they take it ill that they are rebuked; 90?whereas, on the contrary, they ought to grieve at the fault and rejoice at the correction.