Amic. 22.1Sed plērīque perversē, nē dīcam impudenter, habēre tālem amīcum volunt, quālēs ipsī esse nōn possunt, quaeque ipsī nōn tribuunt amīcīs, haec ab eīs dēsīderant.But most people perversely, not to say shamelessly, want to have a friend such as they themselves cannot be, and what they do not give to their friends they expect from them. Amic. 22.1Pār est autem prīmum ipsum esse virum bonum, tum alterum similem suī quaerere.It is right, however, first to be a good man oneself, and then to look for another like oneself. Amic. 22.1In tālibus ea, quam iam dūdum trāctāmus, stabilitās amīcitiae cōnfirmārī potest, cum hominēs benevolentiā coniūnctī prīmum cupiditātibus eīs quibus cēterī serviunt imperābunt;Among such men that stability of friendship which we have long been discussing can be made firm, when men joined by goodwill will, first, master those desires to which others are slaves; Amic. 22.1deinde aequitāte iūstitiāque gaudēbunt omniaque alter prō alterō suscipiet;next, they will delight in fairness and justice, and each will undertake everything for the other; Amic. 22.1neque quicquam umquam nisi honestum et rēctum alter ab alterō postulābit, neque sōlum colent inter sē ac dīligent, sed etiam verēbuntur.and neither will ever demand of the other anything but what is honourable and right, and they will not only cherish and love each other, but also respect each other.
Amic. 22.1Nam maximum ōrnāmentum amīcitiae tollit, quī ex eā tollit verēcundiam.For he who takes respect out of friendship takes away its greatest ornament. Amic. 22.83Itaque in eīs perniciōsus est error, quī exīstimant libīdinum peccātōrumque omnium patēre in amīcitiā licentiam.And so those are in a pernicious error who think that in friendship licence lies open for every lust and wrongdoing. Amic. 22.83Virtūtum amīcitia adiūtrīx ā nātūrā data est, nōn vitiōrum comes, ut, quoniam sōlitāria nōn posset virtūs ad ea quae summa sunt pervenīre, coniūncta et cōnsociāta cum alterā pervenīret.Friendship was given by nature as the helper of the virtues, not the companion of the vices, so that, since virtue on its own could not attain the highest things, it might attain them when joined and allied with another. Amic. 22.83Quae sī quōs inter societās aut est aut fuit aut futūra est, eōrum est habendus ad summum nātūrae bonum optimus beātissimusque comitātus.If such a partnership exists, or has existed, or will exist between any people, their companionship must be held the best and happiest on the way to nature's highest good. Amic. 22.84Haec est, inquam, societās, in quā omnia īnsunt, quae putant hominēs expetenda—honestās glōria tranquillitās animī atque iūcunditās;This, I say, is the partnership in which are all the things that men think worth seeking: honour, glory, peace of mind and joy; Amic. 22.84ut et, cum haec adsint, beāta vīta sit, et sine hīs esse nōn possit Quod cum optimum maximumque sit, sī id volumus adipīscī, virtūtī opera danda est, sine quā nec amīcitiam neque ūllam rem expetendam cōnsequī possumus;so that, when these are present, life is happy, and without them it cannot be. And since this is the best and greatest thing, if we wish to attain it, we must devote ourselves to virtue, without which we can obtain neither friendship nor anything else worth seeking; Amic. 22.84eā vērō neglēctā quī sē amīcōs habēre arbitrantur, tum sē dēnique errāsse sentiunt, cum eōs gravis aliquis cāsus experīrī cōgit.but those who neglect virtue and think they have friends realise at last that they were mistaken when some grave misfortune forces them to put those friends to the test.
Amic. 22.85Quōcircā, dīcendum est enim saepius, cum iūdicārīs, dīligere oportet;Wherefore (for it must be said again and again) you ought to love when you have judged; Amic. 22.85nōn, cum dīlēxerīs, iūdicāre.not to judge when you have loved. Amic. 22.85Sed cum multīs in rēbus neglegentiā plectimur, tum maximē in amīcīs et dīligendīs et colendīs;But while we are punished for carelessness in many things, we are so above all in choosing and cultivating friends; Amic. 22.85praeposterīs enim ūtimur cōnsiliīs et ācta agimus, quod vetāmur vetere prōverbiō.for we follow topsy-turvy counsels and do what is already done, which an old proverb forbids us to do. Amic. 22.85Nam, implicātī ultrō et citrō vel ūsū diūturnō vel etiam officiīs, repente in mediō cursū amīcitiās exorta aliquā offēnsiōne disrumpimus.For after we have become entangled with each other, either by long intercourse or by services as well, suddenly, in mid-course, some offence arises and we break off our friendships.