Amic. 20.1Ut igitur eī, quī sunt in amīcitiae coniūnctiōnisque necessitūdine superiōrēs, exaequāre sē cum īnferiōribus dēbent, sīc īnferiōrēs nōn dolēre sē ā suīs aut ingeniō aut fortūnā aut dignitāte superārī.As, then, those who are superior in the close bond of friendship and association ought to put themselves on a level with their inferiors, so the inferiors ought not to be pained that they are surpassed by their friends in talent, fortune or rank. Amic. 20.1Quōrum plērīque aut queruntur semper aliquid aut etiam exprobrant, eōque magis sī habēre sē putant quod officiōsē et amīcē et cum labōre, aliquō suō factum queant dīcere.Most of them are always either complaining of something or even reproaching, and all the more so if they think they have something they can say they did dutifully, as a friend, and with some trouble to themselves. Amic. 20.1Odiōsum sānē genus hominum officia exprobrantium, quae meminisse dēbet is, in quem collāta sunt, nōn commemorāre quī contulit.Hateful indeed is the kind of men who reproach others with their services, which ought to be remembered by the one on whom they were conferred, not mentioned by the one who conferred them.
Amic. 20.72Quam ob rem, ut eī, quī superiōrēs sunt, submittere sē dēbent in amīcitiā, sīc quōdam modō īnferiōrēs extollere.Wherefore, as those who are superior ought to lower themselves in friendship, so they ought in some way to raise up their inferiors. Amic. 20.72Sunt enim quīdam quī molestās amīcitiās faciunt cum ipsī sē contemnī putant—quod nōn ferē contingit nisi eīs quī etiam contemnendōs sē arbitrantur;For there are some who make friendships troublesome when they think themselves despised, which hardly ever happens except to those who think themselves deserving of contempt; Amic. 20.72quī hāc opīniōne nōn modo verbīs, sed etiam operā levandī sunt.and they must be relieved of this belief not only by words but also by deeds. Amic. 20.73Tantum autem cuique tribuendum, prīmum quantum ipse efficere possīs, deinde etiam quantum ille, quem dīligās atque adiuvēs, sustinēre.But to each one should grant, first, as much as one can oneself achieve, and second, as much as the person one loves and helps can bear. Amic. 20.73Nōn enim neque tū possīs, quamvīs excellās, omnīs tuōs ad honōrēs amplissimōs perdūcere, ut Scīpiō P. Rupilium potuit cōnsulem efficere, frātrem eius Lūcium nōn potuit.For you could not, however eminent you might be, bring all your friends to the highest offices, just as Scipio was able to make Publius Rupilius consul, but could not do so for his brother Lucius.
Amic. 20.73Quod sī etiam possīs quidvīs dēferre ad alterum, videndum est tamen quid ille possit sustinēre.But even if you can confer anything you like on another, you must still consider what he can bear. Amic. 20.74Omnīnō amīcitiae corrōborātīs iam cōnfirmātīsque et ingeniīs et aetātibus iūdicandae sunt;In general, friendships must be judged when both character and age have become strong and settled; Amic. 20.74nec, sī quī ineunte aetāte vēnandī aut pilae studiōsī fuērunt, eōs habēre necessāriōs, quōs tum eōdem studiō praeditōs dīlēxērunt.nor, if some men in early youth were keen on hunting or ball games, should they regard as close friends those whom they loved at that time for sharing the same pursuit. Amic. 20.74Istō enim modō nūtrīcēs et paedagōgī iūre vetustātis plūrimum benevolentiae postulābunt.For in that way nurses and tutors will claim the most goodwill by right of long acquaintance. Amic. 20.74Quī neglegendī quidem nōn sunt, sed aliō quōdam modō aestimandī;They are certainly not to be neglected, but they must be valued in some other way; Amic. 20.74aliter amīcitiae stabilēs permanēre nōn possunt.otherwise friendships cannot remain stable. Amic. 20.74Disparis enim mōrēs disparia studia sequuntur, quōrum dissimilitūdō dissociat amīcitiās;For different characters pursue different interests, and their unlikeness breaks friendships apart; Amic. 20.74nec ob aliam causam ūllam bonī improbīs, improbī bonīs amīcī esse nōn possunt, nisi quod tanta est inter eōs, quanta maxima potest esse, mōrum studiōrumque distantia.nor is there any other reason why good men cannot be friends to the wicked, or the wicked to the good, except that there is between them the greatest possible distance of character and interests.
Amic. 20.75Rēctē etiam praecipī potest in amīcitiīs, nē intemperāta quaedam benevolentia, quod persaepe fit, impediat magnās ūtilitātēs amīcōrum.It may also rightly be advised in friendships that no unrestrained goodwill, as very often happens, should stand in the way of great advantages for our friends. Amic. 20.75Nec enim, ut ad fābulās redeam, Troiam Neoptolemus capere potuisset, sī Lycomēdem, apud quem erat ēducātus, multīs cum lacrimīs iter suum impedientem audīre voluisset.For, to return to the stories, Neoptolemus could not have taken Troy if he had been willing to listen to Lycomedes, in whose house he had been brought up, when he tried with many tears to hinder his journey. Amic. 20.75Et saepe incidunt magnae rēs, ut discēdendum sit ab amīcīs;And great affairs often arise, so that one must part from one's friends; Amic. 20.75quās quī impedīre volt, quod dēsīderium nōn facile ferat, is et īnfirmus est mollisque nātūrā et ob eam ipsam causam in amīcitiā parum iūstus.and the man who wishes to hinder them because he cannot easily bear the loss of a friend is both weak and soft by nature and, for that very reason, not just enough in friendship.
Amic. 20.76Atque in omnī rē cōnsīderandum est et quid postulēs ab amīcō et quid patiāre ā tē impetrārī.And in every matter one must consider both what you demand of a friend and what you allow to be obtained from you.