1As, then, those who are superior in the close bond of friendship and association ought to put themselves on a level with their inferiors, so the inferiors ought not to be pained that they are surpassed by their friends in talent, fortune or rank. 1Most of them are always either complaining of something or even reproaching, and all the more so if they think they have something they can say they did dutifully, as a friend, and with some trouble to themselves. 1Hateful indeed is the kind of men who reproach others with their services, which ought to be remembered by the one on whom they were conferred, not mentioned by the one who conferred them.
72Wherefore, as those who are superior ought to lower themselves in friendship, so they ought in some way to raise up their inferiors. 72For there are some who make friendships troublesome when they think themselves despised, which hardly ever happens except to those who think themselves deserving of contempt; 72and they must be relieved of this belief not only by words but also by deeds. 73But to each one should grant, first, as much as one can oneself achieve, and second, as much as the person one loves and helps can bear. 73For you could not, however eminent you might be, bring all your friends to the highest offices, just as Scipio was able to make Publius Rupilius consul, but could not do so for his brother Lucius.
73But even if you can confer anything you like on another, you must still consider what he can bear. 74In general, friendships must be judged when both character and age have become strong and settled; 74nor, if some men in early youth were keen on hunting or ball games, should they regard as close friends those whom they loved at that time for sharing the same pursuit. 74For in that way nurses and tutors will claim the most goodwill by right of long acquaintance. 74They are certainly not to be neglected, but they must be valued in some other way; 74otherwise friendships cannot remain stable. 74For different characters pursue different interests, and their unlikeness breaks friendships apart; 74nor is there any other reason why good men cannot be friends to the wicked, or the wicked to the good, except that there is between them the greatest possible distance of character and interests.
75It may also rightly be advised in friendships that no unrestrained goodwill, as very often happens, should stand in the way of great advantages for our friends. 75For, to return to the stories, Neoptolemus could not have taken Troy if he had been willing to listen to Lycomedes, in whose house he had been brought up, when he tried with many tears to hinder his journey. 75And great affairs often arise, so that one must part from one's friends; 75and the man who wishes to hinder them because he cannot easily bear the loss of a friend is both weak and soft by nature and, for that very reason, not just enough in friendship.
76And in every matter one must consider both what you demand of a friend and what you allow to be obtained from you.