Ep. 1.12.1Iactūram gravissimam fēcī, sī iactūra dīcenda est tantī virī āmissiō.I have suffered a very heavy loss, if the loss of so great a man should be called merely a loss. Ep. 1.12.1Dēcessit Corellius Rūfus et quidem sponte, quod dolōrem meum exulcerat.Corellius Rufus has died, and by his own will, which makes my grief more raw. Ep. 1.12.1Est enim lūctuōsissimum genus mortis, quae nōn ex nātūrā nec fātālis vidētur.For that is the most grievous kind of death which seems neither natural nor fated. Ep. 1.12.2Nam utcumque in illīs quī morbō fīniuntur, magnum ex ipsā necessitāte sōlācium est;For however it may be with those who are ended by disease, there is great consolation in the very inevitability; Ep. 1.12.2in iīs vērō quōs accersīta mors aufert, hic īnsānābilis dolor est, quod crēduntur potuisse diū vīvere.but with those whom a self-sought death carries off, the grief is beyond healing, because they are believed to have been able to live long. Ep. 1.12.3Corellium quidem summa ratiō, quae sapientibus prō necessitāte est, ad hoc cōnsilium compulit, quamquam plūrimās vīvendī causās habentem, optimam cōnscientiam optimam fāmam, maximam auctōritātem, praetereā fīliam uxōrem nepōtem sorōrēs, interque tot pignora vērōs amīcōs.Corellius, indeed, was driven to this decision by the highest reason, which for wise men stands in place of necessity, although he had very many reasons for living, the best of consciences, the best of reputations, the greatest influence, and besides a daughter, a wife, a grandson, sisters, and among so many dear pledges true friends.
Ep. 1.12.4Sed tam longā, tam inīquā valētūdine cōnflīctābātur, ut haec tanta pretia vīvendī mortis ratiōnibus vincerentur.But he was afflicted by an illness so long and so cruel that these great rewards of living were outweighed by the reasons for dying. Ep. 1.12.4Tertiō et trīcēnsimō annō, ut ipsum audiēbam, pedum dolōre correptus est.In his thirty-third year, as I used to hear him say, he was seized by gout in the feet. Ep. 1.12.4Patrius hic illī;This came to him from his father; Ep. 1.12.4nam plērumque morbī quoque per successiōnēs quāsdam ut alia trāduntur.for diseases too, like other things, are usually handed down by a kind of succession. Ep. 1.12.5Hunc abstinentiā sānctitāte, quoad viridis aetās, vīcit et frēgit;While he was in the vigour of life he overcame and broke it by abstinence and purity of living; Ep. 1.12.5novissimē cum senectūte ingravēscentem vīribus animī sustinēbat, cum quidem incrēdibilēs cruciātūs et indignissima tormenta paterētur.lately, when it grew worse with old age, he bore up against it by strength of mind, even while he was suffering incredible agonies and the most undeserved torments.
Ep. 1.12.6Iam enim dolor nōn pedibus sōlīs ut prius īnsidēbat, sed omnia membra pervagābātur.For now the pain no longer settled in his feet alone as before, but roamed through all his limbs. Ep. 1.12.6Vēnī ad eum Domitiānī temporibus in suburbānō iacentem.I came to him in Domitian's time as he lay ill at his house outside the city. Ep. 1.12.7Servī ē cubiculō recessērunt - habēbat hoc mōris, quotiēns intrāsset fidēlior amīcus -;The slaves withdrew from the bedroom (this was his custom whenever a more trusted friend had come in); Ep. 1.12.7quīn etiam uxor quamquam omnis sēcrētī capācissima dīgrediēbātur.even his wife, although she was most capable of keeping any secret, used to leave. Ep. 1.12.8Circumtulit oculōs et "Cūr" inquit "mē putās hōs tantōs dolōrēs tam diū sustinēre?He cast his eyes around and said, 'Why do you think I endure these great pains for so long? Ep. 1.12.8- ut scīlicet istī latrōnī vel ūnō diē supersim."Why, so that I may outlive that brigand by even a single day.' Ep. 1.12.8Dedissēs huic animō pār corpus, fēcisset quod optābat.Had you given a body to match that spirit, he would have done what he longed for.
Ep. 1.12.8Adfuit tamen deus vōtō, cuius ille compos ut iam sēcūrus līberque moritūrus, multa illa vītae sed minōra retinācula abrūpit.Yet a god granted his prayer, and once he had obtained it, as one now about to die free from care and free, he broke those many but lesser ties that held him to life. Ep. 1.12.9Incrēverat valētūdō, quam temperantiā mītigāre temptāvit;His illness had increased, which he tried to relieve by moderation; Ep. 1.12.9persevērantem cōnstantia fūgit.when it persisted, he escaped it by resolve. Ep. 1.12.9Iam diēs alter tertius quartus: abstinēbat cibō.Already a second day, a third, a fourth: he was refusing food. Ep. 1.12.9Mīsit ad mē uxor eius Hispulla commūnem amīcum C. Geminium cum trīstissimō nūntiō, dēstināsse Corellium morī nec aut suīs aut fīliae precibus īnflectī;His wife Hispulla sent me our common friend Gaius Geminius with the saddest news, that Corellius had decided to die and was not to be swayed by the prayers either of his family or of his daughter; Ep. 1.12.9sōlum superesse mē, ā quō revocārī posset ad vītam.that I alone was left, by whom he might be called back to life.
Ep. 1.12.10Cucurrī.I ran. Ep. 1.12.10Pervēneram in proximum, cum mihi ab eādem Hispullā Iūlius Atticus nūntiat nihil iam nē mē quidem impetrātūrum: tam obstinātē magis ac magis indūruisse.I had come close to the house when Julius Atticus brings me word from the same Hispulla that not even I would now achieve anything: so obstinately had he hardened more and more. Ep. 1.12.10Dīxerat sānē medicō admoventī cibum: quae, vōx quantum admīrātiōnis in animō meō tantum dēsīderiī relīquit reliquit.He had indeed said to the doctor who offered him food, 'I have decided', a word that has left in my mind as much longing as admiration. Ep. 1.12.11Cōgitō quō amīcō, quō virō caream.I think what a friend, what a man I have lost. Ep. 1.12.11Implēvit quidem annum septimum et sexāgēnsimum, quae aetās etiam rōbustissimīs satis longa est;He did indeed complete his sixty-seventh year, an age long enough even for the most robust; Ep. 1.12.11sciō.I know. Ep. 1.12.11Ēvāsit perpetuam valētūdinem;He has escaped a lifelong illness; Ep. 1.12.11sciō.I know. Ep. 1.12.11Dēcessit superstitibus suīs, flōrente rē pūblicā, quae illī omnibus cārior erat;He died leaving his family alive, with the commonwealth flourishing, which was dearer to him than all; Ep. 1.12.11et hoc sciō.and this too I know.
Ep. 1.12.12Ego tamen tamquam et iuvenis et firmissimī mortem doleō, doleō autem - licet mē imbēcillum putēs - meō nōmine.Yet I grieve for his death as though he were both young and in the best of health, and I grieve (you may think me weak) on my own account. Ep. 1.12.12Āmīsī enim, āmīsī vītae meae testem rēctōrem magistrum.For I have lost, I have lost the witness, guide and teacher of my life. Ep. 1.12.12In summā dīcam, quod recentī dolōre contubernālī meō Calvīsiō dīxī: "Vereor nē neglegentius vīvam."In short, I shall say what I said to my friend Calvisius when my grief was fresh: 'I fear that I shall live more carelessly.' Ep. 1.12.13Proinde adhibē sōlācia mihi, nōn haec: "Senex erat, īnfirmus erat" - haec enim nōvī -, sed nova aliqua, sed magna, quae audierim numquam, lēgerim numquam.So offer me consolations, not these: 'He was old, he was infirm' (for these I know), but some new ones, great ones, which I have never heard, never read. Ep. 1.12.13Nam quae audīvī quae lēgī sponte succurrunt, sed tantō dolōre superantur.For what I have heard and what I have read come to mind of their own accord, but they are overcome by so great a grief.
Ep. 1.12.13Valē.Farewell.