Sat. 1.3.1Omnibus hoc vitium est cantōribus, inter amīcōs
ut numquam indūcant animum cantāre rogātī,
iniussī numquam dēsistant.All singers have this fault: among friends, when asked to sing, they can never bring themselves to do it; unasked, they never stop. Sat. 1.3.3Sardus habēbat
ille Tigellius hoc.That Sardinian Tigellius had this fault. Sat. 1.3.4Caesar, quī cōgere posset,
5sī peteret per amīcitiam patris atque suam, nōn
quicquam prōficeret;Caesar, who could have compelled him, if he asked him by his father's friendship and his own, would get nowhere; Sat. 1.3.6sī conlibuīsset, ab ōvō
ūsque ad mala citāret 'Iō Bacchae' modo summā
vōce, modo hāc, resonat quae chordīs quattuor īma.if the fancy took him, he would sing 'Io Bacche' from the egg to the apples, now at the top of his voice, now in the note that sounds lowest on the four strings. Sat. 1.3.9Nīl aequāle hominī fuit illī: saepe velut quī
10currēbat fugiēns hostem, persaepe velut quī
Iūnōnis sacra ferret;There was nothing consistent in the man: often he would run like one fleeing an enemy, very often walk like one carrying the sacred things of Juno; Sat. 1.3.11habēbat saepe ducentōs,
saepe decem servōs;he would often have two hundred slaves, often ten; Sat. 1.3.12modo rēgēs atque tetrarchās,
omnia magna loquēns, modo 'sit mihi mēnsa tripēs et
concha salis pūrī et toga, quae dēfendere frīgus
15quamvīs crassa queat.' deciēns centēna dedissēs
huic parcō, paucīs contentō, quīnque diēbus
nīl erat in loculīs;now talking of kings and tetrarchs, everything grand, now: 'Let me have a three-legged table and a shell of clean salt and a toga, however coarse, that can keep out the cold.' Had you given a million sesterces to this thrifty man, content with little, in five days there was nothing in his purse; Sat. 1.3.17noctēs vigilābat ad ipsum
māne, diem tōtum stertēbat;he would stay awake at night right through to morning, and snore all day; Sat. 1.3.18nīl fuit unquam
sīc inpār sibi.never was anything so unlike itself.
Sat. 1.3.19Nunc aliquis dīcat mihi 'quid tū?Now someone may say to me, 'What about you? Sat. 1.3.20Nūllane habēs vitia?' immō alia et fortasse minōra.Have you no faults?' Yes, but others, and perhaps smaller ones. Sat. 1.3.21Maenius absentem Novium cum carperet, 'heus tū'
quīdam ait 'ignōrās tē an ut ignōtum dare nōbīs
verba putās?' 'egomet mī ignōscō' Maenius inquit.When Maenius was carping at Novius behind his back, 'Hey you,' someone said, 'do you not know yourself, or do you think you can fool us as though we did not know you?' 'I forgive myself,' said Maenius. Sat. 1.3.24Stultus et inprobus hic amor est dignusque notārī.This is a foolish and shameless self-love, and deserves to be branded. Sat. 1.3.25Cum tua pervideās oculīs mala lippus inūnctīs,
cūr in amīcōrum vitiīs tam cernis acūtum
quam aut aquila aut serpēns Epidaurius?When you look over your own faults with bleary, ointment-smeared eyes, why are you as sharp-sighted in the faults of your friends as an eagle or the Epidaurian serpent? Sat. 1.3.27At tibi contrā
ēvenit, inquīrant vitia ut tua rūrsus et illī.But the result for you is that they in turn inquire into your faults.
Sat. 1.3.29Īrācundior est paulō, minus aptus acūtīs
30nāribus hōrum hominum;He is a little too quick-tempered, not well suited to the keen noses of these people; Sat. 1.3.30rīdērī possit eō quod
rūsticius tōnsō toga dēfluit et male laxus
in pede calceus haeret: at est bonus, ut melior vir
nōn alius quisquam, at tibi amīcus, at ingenium ingēns
incultō latet hōc sub corpore.he might be laughed at because, with his countrified haircut, his toga hangs awkwardly and his loose shoe barely clings to his foot: but he is a good man, so that there is no better, but he is your friend, but a great talent lies hidden beneath this uncultivated body. Sat. 1.3.34Dēnique tē ipsum
35concute, numqua tibi vitiōrum īnsēverit ōlim
nātūra aut etiam cōnsuētūdō mala;Finally, shake yourself out, to see whether nature has ever sown any faults in you, or even bad habit; Sat. 1.3.36namque
neglēctīs ūrenda filix innāscitur agrīs.for in neglected fields there springs up fern fit for burning. Sat. 1.3.38Illūc praevertāmur, amātōrem quod amīcae
turpia dēcipiunt caecum vitia aut etiam ipsa haec
40dēlectant, velutī Balbīnum polypus Agnae.Let us turn first to this, that a lover, blind, does not see his mistress's ugly faults, or is even delighted by them, as Balbinus is by Hagna's polyp.
Sat. 1.3.41Vellem in amīcitiā sīc errārēmus et istī
errōrī nōmen virtūs posuisset honestum.I could wish that we erred in this way in friendship, and that virtue had given such an error an honourable name. Sat. 1.3.43Ac pater ut gnātī, sīc nōs dēbēmus amīcī
sīquod sit vitium nōn fastīdīre.And as a father with his son's, so we ought not to be disgusted by a friend's fault, if he has any. Sat. 1.3.44Strabōnem
45appellat paetum pater, et pullum, male parvōs
sīcui fīlius est, ut abortīvus fuit ōlim
Sīsyphus;A father calls his cross-eyed son 'Blinky', and if anyone's son is badly undersized, 'Chick', as the dwarf Sisyphus once was; Sat. 1.3.47hunc Vārum distortīs crūribus, illum
balbūtit Scaurum prāvīs fultum male tālīs.this one with twisted legs he lisps 'Bandy', that one, badly propped on misshapen ankles, 'Clubfoot'. Sat. 1.3.49Parcius hic vīvit: frūgī dīcātur;This one lives rather sparingly: let him be called thrifty; Sat. 1.3.49ineptus
50et iactantior hic paulō est: concinnus amīcīs
postulat ut videātur;this one is tactless and a bit of a show-off: he asks his friends to think him sociable; Sat. 1.3.51at est truculentior atque
plūs aequō līber: simplex fortisque habeātur;but another is rather rough and more outspoken than is fair: let him be thought candid and brave; Sat. 1.3.53caldior est: ācrīs inter numerētur.he is hot-headed: let him be counted among the spirited.
Sat. 1.3.53Opīnor,
haec rēs et iungit iūnctōs et servat amīcōs.In my opinion, it is this that both makes friends and keeps them friends. Sat. 1.3.55At nōs virtūtēs ipsās invertimus atque
sincērum furimus vās incrūstāre.But we turn the virtues themselves upside down, and are mad to dirty a clean jar. Sat. 1.3.56Probus quis
nōbīscum vīvit, multum dēmissus homō: illī
tardō cognōmen, pinguī damus.Some honest man lives among us, a very modest fellow: we give him the nickname of slow and dull. Sat. 1.3.58Hic fugit omnīs
īnsidiās nūllīque malō latus obdit apertum,
60cum genus hoc inter vītae versēmur, ubi ācris
invidia atque vigent ubi crīmina: prō bene sānō
ac nōn incautō fictum astūtumque vocāmus.Another flees every snare and offers his exposed side to no villain, since we pass our lives among a set where keen envy and accusations flourish: instead of sensible and not unwary, we call him insincere and crafty. Sat. 1.3.63Simplicior quis et est, quālem mē saepe libenter
obtulerim tibi, Maecēnās, ut forte legentem
65aut tacitum inpellat quōvīs sermōne: 'molestus,
commūnī sēnsū plānē caret' inquimus.If someone is rather simple, as I would often gladly have shown myself to you, Maecenas, so as to interrupt you perhaps while you read or sat silent with some chatter or other: 'A nuisance; he plainly lacks common sense,' we say.
Sat. 1.3.66Ēheu,
quam temerē in nōsmet lēgem sancīmus inīquam.Alas, how rashly we enact an unfair law against ourselves! Sat. 1.3.68Nam vitiīs nēmō sine nāscitur;For no one is born without faults; Sat. 1.3.68optimus ille est,
quī minimīs urgētur.the best is he who is burdened by the smallest. Sat. 1.3.69Amīcus dulcis, ut aequum est,
70cum mea conpēnset vitiīs bona, plūribus hīsce,
sī modo plūra mihi bona sunt, inclīnet, amārī
sī volet: hāc lēge in trutinā pōnētur eādem.A kind friend, as is fair, when he weighs my good qualities against my faults, should incline towards the former as being more numerous, if only my good qualities are more numerous, if he wishes to be loved: on this condition he will be put in the same scales. Sat. 1.3.73Quī, nē tūberibus propriīs offendat amīcum,
postulat, ignōscet verrūcīs illīus: aequum est
75peccātīs veniam poscentem reddere rūrsus.He who asks that his friend should not take offence at his own boils will forgive the other's warts: it is fair that one who seeks pardon for his offences should grant it in return.
Sat. 1.3.76Dēnique, quātenus excīdī penitus vitium īrae,
cētera item nequeunt stultīs haerentia, cūr nōn
ponderibus modulīsque suīs ratiō ūtitur ac rēs
ut quaeque est, ita suppliciīs dēlicta coercet?In short, since the fault of anger, and likewise the others that cling to fools, cannot be cut out completely, why does reason not use its own weights and measures, and restrain offences with punishments according to what each thing is? Sat. 1.3.80Sīquis eum servum, patinam quī tollere iussus
sēmēsōs piscīs tepidumque ligurrierit iūs,
in cruce suffīgat, Labeōne īnsānior inter
sānōs dīcātur.If someone were to nail to the cross a slave who, told to take away the dish, had licked up the half-eaten fish and the lukewarm sauce, he would be called madder than Labeo among sane men. Sat. 1.3.83Quantō hoc furiōsius atque
maius peccātum est: paulum dēlīquit amīcus,
85quod nisi concēdās, habeāre īnsuāvis: acerbus
ōdistī et fugis ut Drusōnem dēbitor aeris,
quī nisi, cum trīstēs miserō vēnēre Kalendae,
mercēdem aut nummōs unde unde extrīcat, amārās
porrēctō iugulō historiās captīvus ut audit.How much madder and greater a fault is this: a friend has committed some small offence, and if you did not overlook it you would be thought ungracious: you hate him bitterly and avoid him, as a debtor avoids Druso, who, unless when the grim Kalends have come round the poor man scrapes up the interest or the principal from somewhere or other, has to listen like a prisoner, with neck stretched out, to his bitter histories.
Sat. 1.3.90Conmīnxit lectum pōtus mēnsāve catillum
Evandrī manibus trītum dēiēcit: ob hanc rem,
aut positum ante meā quia pullum in parte catīnī
sustulit ēsuriēns, minus hōc iūcundus amīcus
sit mihi?When drunk he has wet the couch, or knocked off the table a bowl worn by the hands of Evander: for this reason, or because when hungry he took a chicken placed before him on my side of the dish, is he to be a less pleasant friend to me? Sat. 1.3.94Quid faciam, sī fūrtum fēcerit aut sī
95prōdiderit conmissa fidē spōnsumve negārit?What shall I do if he commits a theft, or betrays what was entrusted to his good faith, or denies his pledge? Sat. 1.3.96Quīs paria esse ferē placuit peccāta, labōrant,
cum ventum ad vērum est: sēnsus mōrēsque repugnant
atque ipsa ūtilitās, iūstī prope māter et aequī.Those who have decided that all offences are roughly equal are in difficulties when it comes to the truth: feelings and customs fight against them, and expediency itself, almost the mother of the just and the fair. Sat. 1.3.99Cum prōrēpsērunt prīmīs animālia terrīs,
100mūtum et turpe pecus, glandem atque cubīlia propter
unguibus et pugnīs, Dein fūstibus atque ita porrō
pugnābant armīs, quae post fabricāverat ūsus,
dōnec verba, quibus vōcēs sēnsūsque notārent,
nōminaque invēnēre;When living creatures crept forth upon the newborn earth, a dumb and ugly herd, they fought for acorns and lairs with nails and fists, then with clubs, and so on with weapons, which experience later had forged, until they found words and names by which to mark their sounds and feelings; Sat. 1.3.104dehinc absistere bellō,
105oppida coepērunt mūnīre et pōnere lēgēs,
nē quis fūr esset neu latrō neu quis adulter.after that they began to refrain from war, to fortify towns and to lay down laws, that no one should be a thief or a robber or an adulterer.
Sat. 1.3.107Nam fuit ante Helenam cunnus taeterrima bellī
causa, sed ignōtīs periērunt mortibus illī,
quōs Venerem incertam rapientīs mōre ferārum
110vīribus ēditior caedēbat ut in grege taurus.For before Helen a cunt was the foulest cause of war, but those men perished by deaths unknown to history whom, as they snatched at random love in the manner of wild beasts, one stronger than the rest would slaughter, like a bull in the herd. Sat. 1.3.111Iūra inventa metū iniūstī fateāre necesse est,
tempora sī fāstōsque velīs ēvolvere mundī.You must admit that laws were invented from fear of injustice, if you are willing to unroll the ages and annals of the world. Sat. 1.3.113Nec Nātūra potest iūstō sēcernere inīquum,
dīvidit ut bona dīversīs, fugienda petendīs,
115nec vincet ratiō hoc, tantundem ut peccet īdemque,
quī tenerōs caulēs aliēnī frēgerit hortī
et quī nocturnus sacra Dīvum lēgerit.Nor can Nature separate the unjust from the just as she divides good things from their opposites, what is to be avoided from what is to be sought; nor will reason prove this, that a man who has broken the tender cabbages in another's garden sins just as much and in the same way as one who has stolen by night the sacred things of the gods.
Sat. 1.3.117Adsit
rēgula, peccātīs quae poenās inroget aequās,
nē scuticā dignum horribilī sectēre flagellō.Let there be a rule to impose fair penalties on offences, so that you do not lash with the horrible scourge one who deserves the strap. Sat. 1.3.120Nam ut ferulā caedās meritum maiōra subīre
verbera, nōn vereor, cum dīcās esse parīs rēs
fūrta latrōciniīs et magnīs parva minēris
falce recīsūrum similī tē, sī tibi regnum
permittant hominēs.For that you will beat with the cane one who deserves to undergo heavier lashes I do not fear, when you say that thefts are on a par with highway robbery, and threaten to cut back small and great with the same sickle, if men were to give you kingship. Sat. 1.3.124Sī dīves, quī sapiēns est,
125et sūtor bonus et sōlus fōrmōsus et est rēx,
cūr optās quod habēs?If the wise man is rich and a good cobbler and alone handsome and a king, why do you wish for what you have? Sat. 1.3.126'Nōn nōstī, quid pater' inquit
'Chrysippus dīcat: sapiēns crepidās sibi numquam
nec soleās fēcit;'You do not know what father Chrysippus says,' he says: 'the wise man has never made himself boots or sandals; Sat. 1.3.128sūtor tamen est sapiēns.' quī?yet the wise man is a cobbler.' How so?
Sat. 1.3.129'Ut quamvīs tacet Hermogenēs, cantor tamen atque
130optumus est modulātor;'Just as Hermogenes, though silent, is nonetheless a singer and the best of musicians; Sat. 1.3.130ut Alfēnus vafer omnī
abiectō īnstrūmentō artis clausāque tabernā
sūtor erat: sapiēns operis sīc optimus omnis
est opifex, sōlus sīc rēx.' vellunt tibi barbam
lascīvī puerī, quōs tū nisi fūste coercēs,
135urgēris turbā circum tē stante miserque
rumperis et lātrās, magnōrum maxime rēgum.as shrewd Alfenus, after throwing away every tool of his trade and shutting up his shop, was still a cobbler: so the wise man is the best craftsman of every craft, so he alone is a king.' Cheeky boys pluck your beard, and unless you keep them off with a stick, you are jostled by the crowd standing round you, and, poor wretch, you burst and bark, greatest of mighty kings. Sat. 1.3.137Nē longum faciam: dum tū quadrante lavātum
rēx ībis neque tē quisquam stīpātor ineptum
praeter Crispīnum sectābitur, et mihi dulcēs
140ignōscent, sīquid peccārō stultus, amīcī
inque vicem illōrum patiar dēlicta libenter
prīvātusque magis vīvam tē rēge beātus.Not to make a long story of it: while you, a king, go off to bathe for a farthing, and no bodyguard escorts you, you fool, except Crispinus, my dear friends will forgive me if, fool that I am, I do some wrong, and I in turn shall gladly bear with their lapses, and as a private citizen I shall live more happily than you, a king.