Amic. 13.1Haec igitur prīma lēx amīcitiae sanciātur, ut ab amīcīs honesta petāmus, amīcōrum causā honesta faciāmus, nē exspectēmus quidem dum rogēmur, studium semper adsit, cūnctātiō absit, cōnsilium vērum dare audeāmus līberē, plūrimum in amīcitiā amīcōrum bene suādentium valeat auctōritās, eaque et adhibeātur ad monendum nōn modo apertē, sed etiam ācriter, sī rēs postulābit, et adhibitae pāreātur.Let this, then, be established as the first law of friendship: that we ask honourable things of our friends and do honourable things for our friends' sake; that we do not even wait to be asked; that zeal be always present and hesitation absent; that we dare to give true advice freely; that in friendship the influence of friends who give good counsel should carry the greatest weight, and that it be used to admonish not only openly but even sharply, if the case demands, and that it be obeyed when so used. Amic. 13.45Nam quibusdam, quōs audiō sapientēs habitōs in Graeciā, placuisse opīnor mīrābilia quaedam—sed nihil est, quod illī nōn persequantur argūtiīs—partim fugiendās esse nimiās amīcitiās, nē necesse sit ūnum sollicitum esse prō plūribus;For certain men who, I hear, were thought wise in Greece held, I believe, some astonishing views (but there is nothing they do not pursue with their subtleties): partly, that excessive friendships should be avoided, so that one man need not be anxious for many; Amic. 13.45satis superque esse sibi suārum cuique rērum;that each has enough and more than enough of his own affairs; Amic. 13.45aliēnīs nimis implicārī molestum esse;that to be too much entangled in those of others is a burden; Amic. 13.45commodissimum esse quam laxissimās habēnās habēre amīcitiae, quās vel addūcās cum velīs vel remittās;that it is most convenient to hold the reins of friendship as loosely as possible, so that you may either draw them in when you wish or let them out; Amic. 13.45caput enim esse ad beātē vīvendum sēcūritātem, quā fruī nōn possit animus, sī tamquam parturiat ūnus prō plūribus.for the chief thing for living happily, they say, is freedom from care, which the mind cannot enjoy if one man is, as it were, in labour for many.
Amic. 13.46Aliōs autem dīcere aiunt multō etiam inhūmānius, quem locum breviter paulō ante perstrīnxī, praesidī adiūmentīque causā, nōn benevolentiae neque cāritātis amīcitiās esse expetendās;Others, they say, assert something even more inhuman, a point I touched on briefly a little earlier: that friendships should be sought for the sake of protection and help, not of goodwill and affection; Amic. 13.46itaque ut quisque minimum firmitātis habēret minimumque vīrium, ita amīcitiās appetere maximē: ex eō fierī ut mulierculae magis amīcitiārum praesidia quaerant quam virī, et inopēs quam opulentī, et calamitōsī quam eī quī putentur beātī.and so, the less firmness and the less strength each person had, the more eagerly he would seek friendships: hence it comes about that weak women seek the protection of friendships more than men do, the needy more than the rich, and the unfortunate more than those who are thought happy. Amic. 13.47Ō praeclāram sapientiam!What splendid wisdom! Amic. 13.47Sōlem enim ē mundō tollere videntur eī, quī amīcitiam ē vītā tollunt, quā nihil ā dīs immortālibus melius habēmus, nihil iūcundius.For those who remove friendship from life seem to remove the sun from the world, and we have nothing better from the immortal gods than friendship, nothing more delightful.
Amic. 13.47Quae est enim ista sēcūritās?For what is this freedom from care of theirs? Amic. 13.47Speciē quidem blandā, sed reāpse multīs locīs repudianda.Attractive indeed in appearance, but in reality to be rejected on many grounds. Amic. 13.47Neque enim est cōnsentāneum ūllam honestam rem āctiōnemve, nē sollicitus sīs, aut nōn suscipere aut susceptam dēpōnere.For it is not consistent either to refuse to undertake any honourable thing or action, or to lay it down once undertaken, merely to avoid anxiety. Amic. 13.47Quod sī cūram fugimus, virtūs fugienda est, quae necesse est cum aliquā cūrā rēs sibi contrāriās aspernētur atque ōderit, ut bonitās malitiam, temperantia libīdinem, ignāviam fortitūdō.But if we flee from care, we must flee from virtue, which must necessarily, not without some care, scorn and hate the things contrary to itself, as goodness hates malice, temperance lust, and courage cowardice. Amic. 13.47Itaque videās rēbus iniūstīs iūstōs maximē dolēre, imbellibus fortīs, flāgitiōsīs modestōs.And so you may see that it is the just who are most pained by injustice, the brave by cowardice, the self-controlled by depravity. Amic. 13.47Ergō hoc proprium est animī bene cōnstitūtī, et laetārī bonīs rēbus et dolēre contrāriīs.It is therefore the mark of a well-ordered mind both to rejoice at good things and to grieve at their opposites.
Amic. 13.48Quam ob rem sī cadit in sapientem animī dolor, quī profectō cadit, nisi ex eius animō exstirpātam hūmānitātem arbitrāmur, quae causa est cūr amīcitiam funditus tollāmus ē vītā, nē aliquās propter eam suscipiāmus molestiās?Wherefore, if grief of mind befalls the wise man, as it surely does, unless we think that humanity has been rooted out of his mind, what reason is there why we should remove friendship from life altogether, so as not to take on some troubles because of it? Amic. 13.48Quid enim interest mōtū animī sublātō, nōn dīcō inter pecudem et hominem, sed inter hominem et truncum aut saxum aut quidvīs generis eiusdem?For if the emotions of the mind are taken away, what difference is there, I do not say between a beast and a man, but between a man and a tree-trunk or a stone or anything else of that kind? Amic. 13.48Neque enim sunt istī audiendī, quī virtūtem dūram et quasi ferream esse quandam volunt;Nor should we listen to those who would have virtue be something hard and, as it were, made of iron; Amic. 13.48quae quidem est cum multīs in rēbus tum in amīcitiā tenera atque tractābilis, ut et bonīs amīcī quasi diffundātur et incommodīs contrahātur.for in many things, and especially in friendship, it is tender and pliant, so that it expands, as it were, at a friend's good fortune and contracts at his misfortunes.
Amic. 13.48Quam ob rem angor iste, quī prō amīcō saepe capiendus est, nōn tantum valet, ut tollat ē vītā amīcitiam, nōn plūs quam ut virtūtēs, quia nōn nūllās cūrās et molestiās afferunt, repudientur.Wherefore the anguish which must often be borne for a friend is not strong enough to remove friendship from life, any more than the virtues should be rejected because they bring some cares and troubles.